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But they would thereby miss out on an important enlargement of their sensibilities.

We have for too long been warned against flirting by an unfortunate Romantic ideal of total coherence, one that implies that either we are completely sincere in flirting and so must make love or we are, in effect liars.

They might, within an elderly or rather large person, draw attention to a nicely shaped elbow or to an intelligent characteristic tilt of the head.

They must actively search for the location of another person’s sexual allure, piecing together a portrait like a great novelist gradually revealing the hidden charm of an apparently ordinary character.

A few people, of course, have an excessive belief in their own attractiveness.

But mostly, we suffer gravely in the opposite direction.

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